‘How long does it take?’: 5 tips for changing your speech habits (for busy people who live in the real world)

Sometimes I get enquiries about what I call a ‘nosejob’. They’re people who are very busy, or only in London for a short time, and they say they want to learn a perfect British accent in two days, or lose their fear of public speaking by the end of the week. Just like that.

Then they'll go back to their lives, magically improved; a quick visit to the plastic surgeon, a short period of discomfort and then a brand new you - hooray!

Ok, I do offer short courses: intensive 2-day programs where we cover very quickly what we’d usually take ten weeks to work on gradually.

But if that’s literally all you can do - if you can only spare two days to improve and develop your skills as a communicator - then I really can’t promise you results. Sorry! Be very suspicious of anyone (especially online) who tells you they can show you how to ‘get rid of your accent in 3 hours’ or whatever. It’s really not like getting a nosejob... 

The way you speak - whether it’s your accent, your tone, speaking too quickly, too hesitantly - is a set of habits, of your muscles and your brain, that you have been working on every single day since you were an infant. It’s part of who you are. Do you seriously expect to change all that, to lose those habits, in less than a week?

It’s not just that it takes time. It also takes some effort, beyond the work I make you do in each coaching session. It takes practice to retrain your speaking muscles and your brain’s circuits, so that you let go of your old habits and start to form new ones, and that practice has to be more frequent that a weekly class. That’s the hardest part.

Finding time to practice regularly is my clients’ single biggest difficulty: it’s the main obstacle in the way of their progress. So when you’re a busy person, spending most of your time and energy on the day-to-day demands of your career, your family and (if you’re lucky) your social life, how do you make sure there’s some leftover to invest in your skills as a communicator?

This is one of the reasons why, increasingly, people are booking courses of ten 1-hour sessions with me, and taking them over a period of a couple of months, rather than five or fewer over a few weeks. It takes time to develop these new habits. It also helps to be able to work in detail. In a five-session course, there often isn’t time to do much more than cover the basics. This works for some people, but then when the five sessions are up, it’s up to you to develop a routine - and let’s be honest, how good are most people at sticking to a new routine without someone to help keep them on track?

Here are five tips for anyone who wants to change the way they speak, to get an idea of what it willl actually take. If you’re a past or present client of mine, some of these will be familiar: my question is, are you still managing to keep them up?

1. Don’t make it all work and no play

If you need to fine-tune sounds, be disciplined: practice your vowel and consonant sounds regularly, repeating sounds until they become second nature. It’s repetitive, but it’s got to be done.

However, when you come to practice the other techiques we work on - intonation, pace, expression - you need to have a totally differently approach. Use your intuition. Try things out. Dare to do things with your voice you wouldn’t normally do. It should feel less like working out, and more like doing a zumba class or having a kickabout in the park. Muck around with your voice, and you’ll soon get a feel for how you can use it to really communicate, it a way that is authentically you.

2. Practice little and often 

This isn’t the sort of work you can get done by putting in the overtime (even if you had the time to do two or three hours in a day!) One sound a day, for five to ten minutes, is plenty: the most important thing is that you do it regularly, so that the new sounds, the new ideas about speaking, become as much a part of your everyday life as your current speech patterns.

Where and when to practice? Ok, that’s tricky, because unless you don’t mind annoying people, you can’t really run through your vowel sounds on a rush hour tube. Try working your practice into your morning routine in the bathroom: you have a) a bit of privacy, and b) a mirror. Getting ready to shave or do your skincare routine is a great moment to massage and loosen your articulators - the jaw, the throat, the lips and tongue. No-one will hear you going over your sounds in the shower. Alternatively, some clients say they work best in the car not the way to work. Wherever you do it, make sure you do it most days - ideally, every day.

3. If you can’t speak, listen

If you are in situations where you can’t really practice out loud (like on public transport) use the time to listen: stick your headphones in and listen to the recordings we’ve made of your key sounds, or, if you’re working more on being clear and confident, download a Radio 4 podcast, an audiobook - anything featuring skilled communicators speaking with your target sound. Don’t just listen to what they say, but how they say it - how they use emphasis, where and when they pause, whether their diction is clear. Or, if you’ve got no audio to plug into, do a bit of eavesdropping! Whatever the accent, you can listen to and analyse the speech patterns of your fellow passengers, your colleagues, whoever’s around. The better tuned your ears are to how others speak, the more clearly you'll start to understand how to use your own voice, to speak consciously and deliberately to achieve your particular goals. 

4. Focus - then forget about it

Especially at the beginning, when you’re practising, you need to be 100% focused on accurately making your target sound. Then when you go out to work, or you’re with your family and friends, don’t give it another thought. Focus on what you’re talking about, what they’re talking about, not on whether you hit all the t’s in that last word. If you start trying to use new sounds in your everyday speech straightaway, you’ll feel weird and self-conscous: family or close friends may even notice, and I bet they’ll tease you! Which means you’re less likely to persevere with it - let’s be honest. Get on with your life, do your practice and gradually, organically, your habits will change and your day-to-day speech will improve without you have to force it.

5. Don’t expect instant results

Now, of course I’m one of the best speech and accent coaches in London, so of course after a few sessions with me you’re going to completely transform the way you speak and acquire huge confidence almost overnight. Well I would say that, right? 

I’m not saying that (except the bit about being one of the best!). It’s not like getting a nosejob: you won’t go to bed ugly and wake up beautiful. It’s more like sensibly changing your diet; the weight doesn’t drop off immediately, but one day you notice that you can get into that skirt again. It will take at least a few weeks for you, your colleagues and your friends to start noticing any changes - trust me though, they will. But only if you practise!